I’ve always entertained a basic conviction about the Universe – no matter what games we play, how we perceive our stimuli, or what information we choose to accept or ignore, there must be an ultimate underlying truth to facilitate the seemingly endless possibilities that exist before us.
I don’t know how that truth would be defined or understood if discovered – perhaps it would be a single law, or thought. I have no idea. But there must something consistent, something elemental and stable that gives rise to the rest, or chaos would ensue.
The Earth reality is based on a fairly stable and repeatable ruleset that gives us a certain consistency, allowing us to understand our situations and evolve with them. If the walls melted every thirty seconds, or the scenery continuously changed from city to beach to S&M dungeon, life would get confusing and disjointed, and probably end up feeling pointless.
A search for truth has led me on several wild chases. If a fundamental truth exists, it must tie all things together – be it knitting scarves, smoking meth, or humping cheetahs. Each experience must contain a puzzle piece that accurately fits the universal picture.
But the more I look into it, the more I think it’s a worthless pursuit. In a world where everyone perceives reality from their own vantage point, the only truth that could ever be reached here would be a subjective one, as all accrued information would be coloured by individual bias. As perspectives change on Earth, so does truth.
I’m starting to think that truth is not meant to be discovered or understood here. This is unnerving because, with the exception of death, no exit seems to be permitted from the Earth realm to seek further evidence. Short escapes and sojourns into the unknown are attainable through trance-states and psychedelics, but a permanent (non self-violent) conscious exit doesn’t seem to be an option.
That realization worries me for several reasons.
If we are all-powerful conscious entities – souls incarnating in human bodies – once we realize the game is rigged, it should just be a matter of a single thought to leave this place. The genuine experience of the “Earth School” would be ruined if we were hip to the deception. Staying locked in a prison until physical death doesn’t jive with a creature who has free will – it applies to entities living in bondage.
In a lucid dream, I find the opposite scenario occurring. Once achieving lucidity, I want to stay in that world for as long as I can, never to return to Earth if possible. But sooner or later the inevitable happens, and my consciousness is shunted back into a cramped body, rarely by my own free will. Once in a while, a visible dream entity will force me back – a gatekeeper of some kind, perhaps.
This reminds me of another peculiarity – the more I write my dreams down lately, the more they seem to be influenced by an unwanted “Not-self.” I’m talking about weird scenarios where I’m an elite member of the military, involved in war, or someone is suggesting I take up smoking, drugs, or getting into physical fights with family members (people who look familiar, but feel entirely alien, as if a creature wearing a mask) – scenarios that are the antithesis of my waking thoughts and moral predilections, and not something I would simply try to integrate and understand by saying “Oh, it must be an unresolved issue from a previous life.”
It’s not a huge leap to consider that if humans are this easily manipulated emotionally and physically on the Earth plane, they could just as easily be manipulated one dimension higher. Would this be a more logical explanation for rampant reincarnation? Possibly forced reincarnation? Perhaps the white light isn’t salvation at all, just more mental conditioning. Stories of NDE, forced life-reviews are unsettling, and always seem to focus on negative aspects, almost like guilt trips to inspire “souls” to return to Earth once again to keep working on mastering saintly, empathetic traits – qualities we can develop in 5 minutes here if we so choose.
The idea of the Earth School would make no sense if you are the soul calling the shots. How many times would you need to experience pain, misery, rejection, violation, poverty, etc, etc, life after life before you had a practical understanding? You would do it once, and be done with it. And then you would play out the duality experience on the other end of the spectrum, and be done with that as well. The soul group games of taking turns playing wife, husband, brother, mother, sister just to continually fuck with one another seem wasteful and stupid.
Earth School would be more a more logical training ground if the memory of each past life remained intact. To forget everything previously learned whenever a new semester starts makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
It makes new and old souls a farcical idea as well. If souls truly came into the game blind, then a “new” entity would fare no different than one who’s incarnated thousands of times, each starting the game as an amnesiac, blank-slate baby. The old soul label is just egotistical bullshit that wannabe-enlightened people tell themselves to feel superior.
Karma would be meaningless too, because you would be the one deciding, in between lifetimes, what lessons you want to play out. There would be nothing to carry over from life to life, and there would be no need to return as some saviour or bodhisattva to help other humans evolve – other “humans” who are just souls making up their own Earth game experiences as well. If anything, by aggressively helping them while incarnated, you might be fucking up the very scenario they’ve chosen to explore.
If humans are nothing more than the vessels for advanced souls, than a collective human consciousness doesn’t exist, and certainly can’t advance.* That would be the equivalent of all the automobiles on earth (the vehicles of humans) resolving in unison to harmoniously evolve into blissful 5-D space, despite the endless manipulation of their drivers.
(* unless humans are creatures enslaved by advanced souls against their will, but that should rightfully be a separate post)
One more thing – if the Earth is a training ground, it can never evolve. Souls would come here, learn what they choose and move on. If Earth evolved, an entirely new Earth School would have to be created to provide the lessons “advanced” out of this curriculum.
No matter what spiritual philosophies you might subscribe to, there seems to be no escape from this theatre while breathing. You’re being forced to play until the end, and no one’s ever gonna support an early “exit.” Hell no. In fact, we are constantly encouraged to find a goal, a purpose, a passion, and reason to be. We are encouraged to find a true love, to breed, and to become attached to the people and places we discover on our travels. We are encouraged to become so immersed in and addicted to this game that the very thought of leaving becomes painful.
Why is it some people choose to live in a cave and dissociate from all societal stimulation? Maybe it’s the closest to freedom a trapped soul can ever get, I don’t know.
But I do know this:
You can sit in a room with 10 other people watching a live event on television, and each person will have a different take on the reality of the situation, despite watching the exact same footage.
People will see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear, smell what they want to smell, and feel the way they do because of a lifetime of emotional conditioning, learned behaviours, and traumatic, dramatic, or ecstatic experiences.
As much as I don’t want to admit this, the quest for truth seems like a waste of fucking time. All I see around me are people picking an arbitrary reality – a scenario that most conveniently suits their worldly interactions and beliefs – and rolling with it till they die, with little effort to grow, change, or evolve after reaching a certain age.
Life is basically a ride on the Titanic. The only truth to be sure of is that we will eventually become one of the not so lucky bouncing off a propeller. Despite the prophetic knowledge of our sealed fates, there doesn’t seem to be any way to board a lifeboat, hail a passing ship, or get picked up by helicopter before the iceberg floats into our path.
Every fibre of my being says there are greater wonders beyond the Earth realm, and I’m not denying a core spirit or essence at the heart of humanity, and I’m not saying the viewpoints I just shared are in any way accurate, I just don’t care to mindlessly follow illogical bullshit that’s been repeated incessantly to pacify and placate lazy minds, minds that refuse to acknowledge any degree of enslavement or control.
I’m not quitting my search for truth just yet, but, in I case fail, I’m at least going to find a cute, rich redhead to nail after I draw her naked wearing a priceless jewel.
If she doesn’t want to share her door with me later while swimming icy waters, fuck her, I’ll find my own…