Happy Anniversary, Happy Happy Anniversary…

There are many times in life where it seems like we’re spinning our wheels. The mud is deep, our two-wheel-drive junker sucks ass, and there’s not a soul in sight to give us a desperate push out of the muck.

But those moments are nothing more than fleeting perspectives.

If we stop to take a few seconds to reflect upon how far we’ve come along in our unique journeys, we might find ourselves pleasantly surprised at how much progress we’ve actually made.

So lemme tell you a story…

On June 15, 2018, some moron named Michael Ciupka posted his first online writing. He was sitting at the end of his boat dock, dangling his feet in the water, and jotted down a couple thoughts in a lame-ass attempt to capture the moment.

A year has gone by since.

The moron is still writing today, and, on July 26, 2019, he decided to take stock of the stupidity he’s amassed to date.

He found himself smugly amused. Although it seemed his dreams were unfolding painfully slowly, there was much to be proud of.

Why he talked about himself repeatedly in the third person was beyond anyone’s best guess.

So enough of that.

I suck at gauging time. Although I feel like I’ve been writing all my life, this website is only a year old.

And I missed my own anniversary. Thank God Bonerfruit’s not my woman, cuz she’d be pissed at me for not buying a stupid card or something.

On that note, happy anniversary to me.

Yeah, I know, shut the fuck up you self-serving asshole.

Meh, whatever.

I didn’t plan any of this. It just sorta happened. I don’t even remember how or why I chose one day to begin compiling a book. It was never on my radar. To the best of my recollection, the catalyst was being gifted with an aging laptop.

It feels like an eternity now since Everything is Bullshit was written, but it’s only been a year and a half. BonerFruit exists because I typed a non-existant reference to it at the end of that ridiculous writing.

And now here we are.

So indulge me for a moment.

Aside from finishing some artwork, 3 books are now under my belt. The first two were about testing the waters — short and sweet (sour?) compilations that provided a much-needed learning curve. The latest absurdity, Original Sin, is a kick-ass piece I’m excited about. Editing a 400-page book is time-consuming when you don’t have lackeys working for you, but who the fuck else is gonna do this properly but me? Any editor I could hire would probably end up leaving the 47 references to “fuckwads” in the trash bin. Screw that.

Including Daily Bread, Bonerfruit has over 400 hundred postings. The word count of those writings sits at the 80,000 mark — definitely nothing to sneeze at, unless you’re allergic to the word douchebag.

Even though there have only been some 3,000 views to this site, I don’t feel discouraged in the slightest. The only way to garner any traction in this goofball reality is to keep doing what you love to do. Fame and fortune don’t mean shit. If you’re excited to wake up and take the day head-on, there’s a good chance you’ve found a path worth treading upon.

In the last year, I’ve also learned how to sail. I had the balls to jump on a plane and spend 3 months in countries where I couldn’t speak more than 20 words of the native tongue. Looking back on the last 365, I have no reason to feel ashamed.

Probably much like yourself.

Forgive my self-babble. This crux of this post is about letting you know you likely deserve a solid pat on the back. Do yourself a favour, and think back to all the cool shit you’ve achieved and experienced over the last year, no matter how small or piddly those accomplishments may have been. The list is probably far more impressive than you thought.

And then use that inspiration to keep doing the shit you truly love — to blow off the bullshit that doesn’t serve you, while constantly re-imagining bigger, grander, and crazier dreams.

Time slips by pretty fucking fast, so don’t waste it on status-quo garbage. Grab your passion by the balls — just don’t squeeze with too much aggression. A little massaging and tickling will always serve you better than a painful clench.

There’s a “suck my balls” joke in there somewhere, but I’m not seeing it at the moment.

Meh, no worries. That’s what Daily Bread is for.

Rock on, friends.

I’m proud of you.