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5 Reasons to Facilitate the Curbing of Giving a Fuck

(The is the unedited essay as it should have appeared on dumblittleman.com)

Pretentious title, but far from a call to adopt a stance of apathy within this wondrous and dynamic reality we exist together in.

Fuck no, quite the opposite.

The insight I’d like to share with you today is the equivalent of an open-handed, movie-cliche slap to the face, regretfully but lovingly administered to pull a panicked comrade back from the brink of a full-blown meltdown catalyzed by a collapse of rational, critical thinking.

Continue reading 5 Reasons to Facilitate the Curbing of Giving a Fuck

Dumb Little Mike

In the spirit of whoring myself out to the public for blog notoriety and book sales, I recently wrote a post that was accepted and published by a trendy, self-help website.

The only problem is they left my primo material on the cutting room floor.

Well, that’s not entirely true, but the edits they made, to remove my “colourful” language, twisted a few of the lines into ineffectual, impotent, or just plain confusing blather that was not representative of my well-crafted genius. (throw a note about my modesty in there somewhere, too)

If they had simply communicated a non-profanity policy on their site, or gave me the chance to edit the piece myself after discussing the matter, I could easily have accommodated. But that wasn’t the case. In fairness, they did have a disclaimer about making edits without approval from the writer, but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have been given the opportunity tweak my intellectual property, especially when my name is forever attached to it.

Foul language is not a necessity in my literary explorations, I just happen to really fucking enjoy it. There are many posts here that do not contain “subversive” language. Look hard enough, you’ll find ’em…

I did not come across any legal mumbo-jumbo on their site forbidding the reprinting of the piece on BonerFruit, so somewhere down the road, I’ll repost it in full-glory, proper imagery and all.

I fucking hate censorship. Especially when my “douchebag” and “dickweed” references are essential parts of a message…

Well, maybe not essential, but a lot of fucking fun.

BonerFruit will find the right venue for guest posting somewhere down the road, but for now, we’ll continue our explorations here without worrying what the “man” has to say about it.

El Mirador Volume 3 is coming up soon. Right now, I’m enjoying a little book-writing time in Palenque, Mexico, and planning transportation back to the ocean — a bus to Playa del Carmel, and then a connection to a little fishing village, Puerto Morelos, in hopes of avoiding the hardcore touristy areas while I soak my body in salty water.

The new book is still lacking a few chapters, but is by far the most ambitious and fucked up work I’ve produced to date.

I did get some reader feedback from early-released chapters, so let me share those with you now…

Did I mention my love of whorish self-promotion? Oh yeah, right…

Recently Reviewed…

ORIGINAL SIN
A Creative Guide to Living and Dying

“Enlightening, entertaining, educational, and outraging — this
book has it all. I’d recommend it to all my friends, but the artwork
makes me wanna puke.”
— M. Ciupka, Fingerpainter

“I hated this guy’s first two books, but now I just hate myself for
buying the third one.”
— M. Ciupka, Sucker for Amazon Deals

“My wife slowed down to get a closer look at an accident on the
highway, and I thought to myself: I wish I was in that stretcher
instead of reading Original Sin.”
— M. Ciupka, Divorced

“Reading Original Sin has made me envious of the blind.”
— M. Ciupka, Stevie Wonder Wannabe

“When I think of originality, I think of Mozart. When I think of
Original Sin, I think cutting my wrists.”
— M. Ciupka, Impressionable Reader

“The perfect stocking stuffer! Especially if your socks are destined
for the landfill.”
— M. Ciupka, Holiday Enthusiast

“If you liked Conversations with God, you won’t like this.”
—Neil Diamond Walsh

“There’s a reason I created Hell — so you would know repercussions of bad decisions, like purchasing this book.”
—God

“I tried to read it, but it was too big.”
—L. Skywalker

“Read or do not read. There is no try.”
—Yoda

“I like this kid, he’s good. Buy his new book. I would never lead you
astray.”
— Satan

“The shallow depth is ever near,
As lightning darkens sound,
Metal shakes the rusted smile,
A petal soft and round.”
— Nostradamus, Incomprehensible Nut-job

El Mirador, Volume 2

Now that MC Designs’ first international mural is complete, I feel a little R&R has been earned to follow up on our last cliff-hanger post — well, maybe the ending was closer to step-stool height, but whatever…

It sucks not having my airbrush to work with, but whatcha gonna do? A happy client is the only thing that ever really counts…

So where were we?

Ah yes, the 4:30 wake-up call…

We boarded the mini-bus at 5 AM to make the 3-hour drive to our launch point. The first hour and a half was pleasant enough, but the road after passing the main gate into the El Mirador reserve took a drastic turn for the worse. I believe Luis, our translator and super amicable host of Ciao Cacao, the hostel we were staying at, said something to the effect of, “If you think the last roads were bumpy, our driver just said you should remember those good times fondly as we press on…”

Continue reading El Mirador, Volume 2

El Mirador, Volume 1

My apologies for delay between meaty posts. Much has transpired, and only so many words can be written in a day.

But let’s test that theory…

I needed to finish a piece I wanted to whore out to a few random websites that might be beneficial to generating a little awareness to the BonerFruit fun. Guest blogging is probably a necessity I’ll need to explore to gain traction for my ridiculous insights into this game we call life, but until my newest writings get rejected by pretentious ass-wipes who hate the use of words like jerk-off or motherfucker in their mainstream popularity, the essays will exist in limbo, conforming to their required parameters of unpublished, unique ideas.

Continue reading El Mirador, Volume 1

A Sticky Situation…

This is kinda weird.

I spent most of the day writing, but realized a break was in order to glean some perspective into a reality that doesn’t involve the ridiculous book ideas being pumped from my brain.

So what am I doing?

Writing this.

A break from writing to write more… yeah, weird…

I was unsure of how to play out this day when the sun rose, but I headed to the lagoon to put some pen to paper, or more accurately, fingertip to laptop. The sky was magnificently blue, with nary a chem-trail in sight (it warms the heart to see real clouds again), and I spent several hours toying with new ideas and doing much needed proof-reading.

My food supplies have run low, but my body wasn’t crying out in any desperate famished state, though I knew an amble back to Poptun would be necessary before long. As I debated cave tours, hikes, or lounging lazily in the sun as possible options to fill my day, I decided to head back to my room and give a shout out to the Universe for an effective suggestion to maximize my time.

Continue reading A Sticky Situation…

I Finca Might Be On to Something…

I originally decided to make a stop in Poptun because I wanted to find some Mayan ruins off the beaten path. I found a website that mentioned Machaquila, “a small Guatemalan village several kilometres from a ruined city of the Mayan civilization bearing the same name,” which is walkable from Poptun.

Perfect.

I took a bus to Poptun and grabbed a room to unload my stuff, get my bearings, and make some archeological adventure plans. Turned out the “several” kilometres mentioned in my piss-poor research would have been more accurately described as “many, many dozens.” Unless I rented a vehicle of some kind, I wouldn’t be playing Indiana Jones on this leg of the tour.

Continue reading I Finca Might Be On to Something…