Loads of Fun

I’m not sure how Christmas ever felt complete without a dish of vegan kitty litter cake sitting to the left of a roasted bird. This should rightfully be labeled Phase 1 of the project, but I feel more satisfied labeling it Movement Number 2. The purging of my culinary stupidity was nonetheless successful.

Considerations are still in place to add cacao nibs for some always appreciated junky turd texture.

I’m undecided whether eating these sweet droppings was more enjoyable than observing the look of disgust on my mother’s face while doing so.

Next phase is building the cake.

I’ll put the full recipe together for you once it’s run its course…

I planned on incorporating a few more bowel movement jokes in this mini-post, but they were shitty.

Please, Not Another Pottersville Story…

Well, ‘tis the season again. The yearly ritual of collecting gifts, stringing coloured lights, and erecting artificial pine trees has begun. Wreaths are being hung, and cards are being mailed. Cookies are being baked, and turkeys are gettin’ stuffed. Kids are showcasing the best of their good-natured worth to Santa, and adults are Xeroxing their asses at office parties. Good times.

The frantic nature of this time of year can easily put undue stress upon the lives of people struggling through the muck of Western culture. If you happen to be short on greenback to purchase whatever the TV machine has the kiddies all hyped about, it’s easy to slip into the funk of a trivially oriented, materialistic society. Commercialism has tainted many a candy-cane, leaving a less than pepperminty taste in lot of people’s mouths.

It’s sad to hear the “I hate the holidays” line as many times as I do each year, but it’s understandable. To me though, the sadder thing to witness is the lack of effort holiday-haters make to reimagine their frustrations in a more joyous way. Much easier for them to accept the status quo in fury, and bitch about it to anyone who’ll listen, rather than seek a greater perspective to navigate life’s snow-covered walkways.

Continue reading Please, Not Another Pottersville Story…

My Suggestion? Fuck Google…

I used to think the internet was the greatest piece of technology ever allowed in the hands of us ignorant schlubs skulking around the planet. It used to boggle my mind that unfettered access to any information under the sun would be tolerated for even 5 minutes by our loving puppet masters. The talk of heavy censorship in China, Iran, or Sauda Arabia made me feel blessed to have so much data at my fingertips, even while paranoia fomented in my brain that we were being heavily monitored.

I foresaw restrictions, paid access, and outright connectivity refusals to become the dominant protocol of the system, but the situation that eventually unfolded caught me off guard. Me so dumb.

Internet information control has been a well-crafted and methodically orchestrated campaign that has undergone constant refinement since the cold war’s inspiration of the technology. There’s been nothing accidental about how this entity has been disseminated to the public.

Continue reading My Suggestion? Fuck Google…

The Art of Living…

I recently stumbled across a quote from novelist Barbara Kingsolver:

It’s a fascinating statement – a testament to passion many people could never utter.

We’ve probably all had days where the world melted away as we engaged in something we love. I know I have, on many different occasions, doing many different things. But I’ve never found a calling that has consumed my life like it has for BK – unless you consider being a jackass a calling.

There are a lot of self-help books out there teaching the masses how to focus their time, minds, and energies into a singular purpose or destiny that the Universe has secretly mapped out for them. As helpful as those writings may be to some, I think they also may be the source of a lot of undue guilt and grief.

Let me explain.

Continue reading The Art of Living…

Do do, do do, do do do do, do do….

It’s not too tough to get distracted in today’s society. In fact, if you’re not, you’re probably, blind, deaf, or in your third week of a coma.

We wake up each morning with a mental list of things that need to get done, and often finish the day by collapsing into our beds while beating ourselves up for not resolving the dozen tasks we swore we’d finish a month ago. Such is life.

Navigating the outside world is pretty much like exploring a high-tech version of the carnival that used to roll into town every year when we were kids. Bright lights and seductive images flash everywhere, ridiculously unhealthy foodstuffs bombard our sense of reason, and every corner has a peddler of shiny trinkets or exciting offers they tout as absolutely necessary to raise our current mundane status to one of unbridled bliss. If you pay close attention, you’ll notice there’s just as much vomit on the ground too, but maybe a third of the sawdust.

Continue reading Do do, do do, do do do do, do do….

You Discussed Me…

Hmm… that title may have to work into a Daily Bread tomorrow….

This is just a quick note to let everyone know that Mikey’s Madness Forum is up and running. It’s not the greatest software on the planet, but the learning curve shouldn’t be too tough to get you immersed in the game.

All ideas and input are welcome.

This is your chance to call me out on the nutty shit and holier-than-thou tirades that constantly spill from my bloggy fingertips.

In all seriousness, BonerFruit has always had a main goal of starting an intelligent dialogue with open-minded weirdos who seek a greater working knowledge of the universe.

Censorship will never be a factor, and all “beliefs” are welcome, but the idea is not to play a game of who’s right and who’s wrong, only to open doorways to possibilities that have not yet been conceived, explored, or experienced.

For now, there’s no direct chat feature, as it eats up too much loading time, but I’ll figure out an alternative solution as this progresses.

If you have any whacked-out friends who don’t quite conform with the rules of society, feel free to pass along my web address, I’d love to have them on board. The more the merrier.

With continued stimulation, BonerFruit will keep on growing, wink, wink.

Man Overboard….

I’ve always entertained a basic conviction about the Universe – no matter what games we play, how we perceive our stimuli, or what information we choose to accept or ignore, there must be an ultimate underlying truth to facilitate the seemingly endless possibilities that exist before us.

I don’t know how that truth would be defined or understood if discovered – perhaps it would be a single law, or thought. I have no idea. But there must be something consistent, something elemental and stable that gives rise to the rest, or chaos would ensue.

The Earth reality is based on a fairly stable and repeatable ruleset that gives us a certain consistency, allowing us to understand our situations and evolve with them. If the walls melted every thirty seconds, or the scenery continuously changed from city to beach to S&M dungeon, life would get confusing and disjointed, and probably end up feeling pointless.

A search for truth has led me on several wild chases. If a fundamental truth exists, it must tie all things together – be it knitting scarves, smoking meth, or humping cheetahs. Each experience must contain a puzzle piece that accurately fits the universal picture.

Continue reading Man Overboard….