Positively Ingenious!

From time to time, people accuse me of having a negative outlook on life. I’m not really sure why this is, considering I’m absolutely positive 90 percent of the humans walking this planet are entirely fucked in the head, but I’ll never be one to repress another’s right to express their opinion. That’s what freedom’s all about. When we start censoring ideas that the media tells us are “dangerous” (which of course would never, ever happen in our highly advanced and open society), that would be the time to start questioning whether our beloved regulators have our best interests at heart, or if they have an agenda of their own we might not be privy to.

So in order to demonstrate my spirit is riding high during these “unprecedented, difficult, and trying times,” I’ve amassed a list of some of the unexpected benefits and opportunities that have come to light in the midst of our planetary medical dictatorship.

Let’s begin!

Wearing Masks

The perks are unending! We’ll start with the basics: hideous people. No more fear of walking out of the house worrying you’re not quite up to snuff with Brad Pitt’s good looks. With a surgical face-mask, baggy coat, and slicked-back hair, there’s a good chance you’ll be mistaken for a young George Clooney! Though it’s difficult to chat up the ladies while standing 6 or more feet away from them in the check-out at the local Giant Tiger, when the bars and nightclubs re-open again 2 years from now, Miss Right will never have a clue how impossibly far you fall short of her physical ideal. With a few carefully practiced pick-up lines and witty anecdotes about surviving the lockdown, you’ll have had your hands in her pants a dozen times before she ever realizes you’re missing 18 teeth, and your breath smells of half-priced dog food.

Up next: people who like to rob shit. Society rarely considers how much grief and anxiety is involved standing in front of a liquor store, debating whether the pantyhose or ski mask are the appropriate attire for the task at hand. Well, forget that! Toss away your doctor prescribed antidepressants that bung up your sphincter, and enjoy culturally-approved anonymity, drug-free! You can also forget the stress of planning your next heist. If you choose to go out in public now wearing a rubber Ronald Reagan mask, I can guarantee no one will bat an eyelash. So as you approach a bank-teller with a question about usurious account fees, or stand in front of a cashier with a bottle of whisky or 6-pack of Hamburger Helper somewhere down the road, let your heart decide if it’s the right time to pull your gun to exercise a little “unsanctioned capitalism.” Spontaneity is the spice of life! Freshly ground pepper is pretty awesome too.

For the Ladies? Makeup. How much wasted time do you spend every morning “putting on your face?” Kiss those tedious hours goodbye, and keep your energies focused where they belong — updating your Facebook status and watching reruns of Friends. Aside from feeding the kiddies, and a lengthy line-up to roll through Tim Horton’s to pick up a disease-free latte, starting a new day will become as simple as donning a hat and mask. Forget the showers and leg shaving as well. No one’s ever gonna get close enough to you again to realize how badly your ‘pits smell, or how many Goldfish crumbs are lodged in your pubic hair. It won’t be long before the “North American Burka” becomes the norm, dispelling your holier-than-thou judgments about the backward, mysogynistic cultures you’ve been taught to hate. Sure, maybe you’ll want to keep a little eye-liner in your pocket o’ tricks to impress the hunky guy who hauls your trash once a week, but you’ll never again be part of an ongoing experiment by beauty corporations to find out what 10,000 chemicals, secretly buried in lipstick, foundation, or shampoo, unknowingly do to your body. Forget showing off cleavage, eyes are the window to the soul!

Fashion.

Here’s an unlimited opportunity. I’m no sleeping prophet, but I’ll go on record predicting that “social distancing” ain’t gonna be forgotten any time soon. So why not then make the best of a situation that’s been forced upon you? If you can earn a few bucks creating ideas that help save lives, by preventing disease-spreading-motherfuckers from approaching you, I say run with it.

Idea 1: Spike vests.

If you’ve ever watched the absurdity of a fashion show — you know, where tall, weird-looking, anorexic humans walk down a runway wearing outfits that some emotionally-disturbed queer designed for shock value because trending media dictated he was the latest “in” thing — then this idea might not seem so ludicrous.

No need to fear anyone contaminating you with their filthy diseases while wearing this fashionable number at your next bar mitzvah. Huggers can go fuck themselves. Forced social distancing is IN!

Idea 2: The Sawbrerro.

Pretty simple. When someone tries to approach you unwantedly, shaking your head to indicate, “no, don’t do it asshole,” will take on new meaning if the disease carrier gets too close, and quickly finds their nose separated from their bacteria-laden fuckface. It’s a mistake they’ll never make again.

Idea 3: Winter Wear.

Already done. If you copy me, you’re just a sad, pathetic shill.

Idea 4: Bear Trap Mittens

Can you believe some assholes out there still consider hand-shaking to be a normal activity? Un-freakin-believable. So here’s one to deter those gropey mass-murderers from ever sticking their diseased hands in your face again…

That’s all for now. Hopefully I’ve inspired a few readers to feel as bubbly as I do, as we patiently await a single miracle vaccine that will one day eradicate this heartless, microscopic scourge from the face of the Earth. As we stand in line at our forced vaccination clinics a year from now, still wearing face-masks and maintaining a 6-foot personal radius, life will finally start returning to normal.

We can only hope our miracle cure is as effective as the one we developed for influenza. I’m positive medical science won’t let us down.

Next Post: Viral mutations, and why thrice-yearly COVID shots will become as natural as brushing your teeth. See you then!

JustinJurgy — Part 1

As a witty, genius, mega-handsome blogger — someone unafraid to share personal stories, or call out the douchebags of society for being the spineless bitches they are — I’ve found myself inundated with a burgeoning influx of spammers and advertisers who all want a slice of the Mikey Pie.

Now of course you don’t have to be as wonderfully popular as I am to be flooded by spam. If you have an e-mail address you regularly check, there’ll never be a day you don’t receive an unsolicited piece of shit from some asshole who bought your name off a mailing list. If the trillions of dollars dumped into ad campaigns were used for the greater good of humanity, instead of being funnelled into a nefarious, parasitic quest to separate you from your hard-earned slave dollars, well, our planet would be a much more wonderful place. But don’t quote me on that.

As long as we keep buying their shit, they’ll keep finding new ways to manipulate our fears and emotions. I’ll bet dollars to donuts that at this very moment some fuckface is aggressively marketing a cutting-edge, designer, anti-corona facemask that you and your loved ones “just can’t live without!” But don’t be fooled by the 5 filtration settings and aromatherapy-capable options. I can almost guarantee it’ll still be a fucking piece of cloth that won’t fare any better curtailing the black plague than the 50-cent drywall mask you picked up standing in an hour-long line at the fucking Costco.

But our story today isn’t about charlatans or corporate giants intent on fucking you up your financial ass, it’s about an accidental discovery I made while weeding out my BonerFruit inbox of the daily rubbish I receive.

Yesterday, a message caught my attention that was too intriguing to ignore. “Intriguing” prolly ain’t the right word, but gimme a second to explain…

It’s absurd to think that everyone on this planet should be fluent in English. Hell, most of the people I know who’ve grown up in Canada can’t truthfully claim as much. So when I received this message, obviously filtered through a translation program, I didn’t immediately discount it. In fact, through careful analysis, I surmised something greater was on the horizon. And although past experience dictated that clicking on a suspect website might be an unwise decision, and likely flood my laptop with crippling viruses (the electronic kind, not the bullshit fake corona version), I impetuously rolled the dice, and found myself in a world of unexpected insight I knew would have to be shared, not only with my band of followers on BonerFruit, but all planetary life.

So let’s now introduce JustinJurgy, and his WordPress blog that will eventually become the gold standard for social interaction.

The post today is merely an introduction, dissecting JJ’s inaugural communication. A firm foundation is paramount to expansion. Upon this rock, I shall build thine church.

Subsequent chapters will follow, as we learn all about the psychological nuances relevant to hooking up with women of different cultures.

The original message as it appeared, verbatim, is in italic.
Reverse engineered, BonerFruit translation in [bold text].

Name: JustinJurgy

Email: [withheld, to protect a marginal intelligence]

Website: [withheld, to protect the bait-clicking reckless]

Message: Wellington speed internet dating

[Translation: Greetings! I am the proprietor of a fabulous new business that will make random dating a thing of the past, by matching singles to their soulmates in a painless process known as Wellington Speed Dating (WSD)!]

thinking about inflamed which has unnecessary swiping an internet-based talks which go nowhere? beautifully, Nothin is better than meeting someone personally in different very lazy destination. Wellington schedule dating is a cool off and very good way to pay fun and elegant folk.

[Translation: Is your thumb sore from swiping to the right every time you see a fat chick pop up on Tinder? You don’t have to succumb to Americanized dating services to meet the woman of your dreams. WSD is a user-friendly, casual interface for single males willing to trade money for sex with classy or mature women.

Visualization works:

[Translation: Imagine the possibilites!]

by may possibly 30, will undoubtedly be website hosting their second will certainly occasion in brand-new wedding venuw the main business! in that large period, this destined to be much better to hear those types good chats! the game a similar winning framework, with daters trading people about 5 minute date ranges perfect up until virtually all people have went out with. you merely go all these you just as in a scorecard. in the mail, will let you know who you equalled using e mail.

[Translation: Sometime toward the end of May, WSD will definitely host their second annual, live-streaming “Meet Me and Marry Me” event. In a proven strategy that pairs partners for life, WSD participants will have 5 FULL MINUTES to question every potential soulmate in attendance. Each performance scorecard submitted to WSD will be entered into our advanced supercomputer. At an unknown later date, WSD will mail you a handwritten letter with the results our computer e-mails to us.]

Also contains tag any snacks within a break how to impress a russian girl and the trick WSD shock (for people who have no more before you know critical that may be)!

[Translation: Tired of eating nachos alone? WSD offers an exclusive course entitled “Electroshock Therapy — How to Change Your Brain to Impress the Russian Girl of Your Dreams!” Over 5,000 satisfied customers can’t be wrong!]

pc priced is the best way to ensure you have on miss out as data are really poor. on top of that a cheaper price compared to russian singles stroll using worth.

[Translation: Guaranteed* lowest rates to meet single Russian Girls!
(*not guaranteed)] 

highly recommended gets older: males and females 22 35, n’ age group ranges,ageing constrain because friendships! Remember case the typical age ranges we get at times we are able to a concept of what you should expect! We enjoy all ages.

[Translation: Must be 18 or older.]

disclaimer: WSD is progressing by no means process responsibility about longterm romantic relationships of having its offerings, none your partnerships that might result of using its services.

[Translation: WSD is not liable for partnerships that result in stabbings.]

 

Up next:

JustinJurgy Part 2: Russian Dating Tips

COVID — The Projection of a Mass Illusion

[Written by Jon Rappoport. Reprinted with permission. Original post:
blog.nomorefakenews.com To learn more about Jon and his 30+ years of free-lance investigative reporting, please visit: nomorefakenews.com]

 

When it comes to what is laughingly called medical science, the basic energy, drive, ambition, outlook, and inner vision of the individual is discounted. His emotional force is discounted. The resilience of his immune system is discounted. The power of his spiritual beliefs is discounted. His ability to overcome obstacles is discounted. And of course, his natural right to make decisions about his own health is discounted.

Instead, he is viewed as a mechanical unit reacting to germs, with a high potential for failure. This is pure insanity. This is where all the purported sophistication of basic medical science winds up: in a dead end. LIFE itself was eliminated from the equations and formulas. Whose fault is that? Not yours. Not mine.

It turns out that, for many people, their belief in the power of the virus, and their belief in the officials who are spouting gobbledygook about it, outweigh their belief in whatever spiritual ultimates they profess.

Their own deepest beliefs are not strong enough.

Their religion is television.

Which is where the mass illusion is projected.

Epidemics are staged on television.

Images begin to flow:

An emergency medical vehicle on a street. EMT personnel, in hazmat suits, load a man strapped down to a stretcher, into the van. On another street, a man collapses on the sidewalk. We see yet another quarantined man sitting inside a huge plastic bubble on a third street. Cut to an airport lobby. Soldiers are patrolling the space among the crowds. Cut to a lab. Close-up of vials of liquid. Camera pulls back. Techs in light green scrubs are placing the vials into slots of a table-top machine. Auditorium—a man on a platform, wearing a doctor’s white coat, is pointing a wand at a large screen, on which a chart is displayed, for the audience. Back to the street. People are wearing face masks.

These images wash over the television viewer. Meanwhile, the anchor is imparting his prepared meaning: “The government today issued a ban on all travel into and out of the city…hundreds of plane flights have been cancelled. Scientists are rushing to develop a vaccine…”

The television audience has an IMPRESSION of knowing something. They’re in the flow, the flow of the news…they’re in the images…

Or: Example: we see angry crowds on the street of a foreign city. Many shots of young people on their cell phones sitting in outdoor cafés. Then the marble lobby of a government building where men in suits are walking, standing in groups talking to each other. Then at night, rockets exploding in the sky. Then armored vehicles moving through a gate into the city. Then clouds of smoke on another street and people running, chased by police.

A flow of consecutive images. The sequence, obviously, has been assembled by a news editor, but the viewing audience isn’t aware of that. They’re watching the “interconnected” images and listening to a news anchor tell a story that colors (infects) every image: “This is revolution for democracy, created by the technology of cell phones…”

Viewers thus believe something. Television has imparted a sensation to them.

In his 1976 film masterpiece, Network, Paddy Chayefsky’s unhinged newsman, Howard Beale, broadcasts this message to his audience on national television—

“So, you listen to me. Listen to me! Television is not the truth. Television’s a god-damned amusement park. Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, sideshow freaks, lion tamers, and football players. We’re in the boredom-killing business… We deal in illusions, man. None of it is true! But you people sit there day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds. We’re all you know. You’re beginning to believe the illusions we’re spinning here. You’re beginning to think that the tube is reality and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you. You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube. You even think like the tube. This is mass madness. You maniacs. In God’s name, you people are the real thing. We are the illusion.”

Television, in the main, does not attempt to impart knowledge. It strives to give the viewer the impression that he knows something. There is a difference.

Knowledge, once established, is independent of the viewer. Whereas the impression of knowing is a feeling, a conviction, a belief the viewer holds, after he has watched moving images on a screen. THIS is what the addicted viewer prefers. He wants no part of knowledge.

Therefore: a short circuit occurs in his mind.

When you export this pattern out to a whole society, you are talking about a dominant method through which fake knowledge is groped and held close.

“Did you see that fantastic video about the Iraq War? It showed that Saddam actually had bioweapons.”

“Really? How did they show that?”

“Well, I don’t remember. But watch it. You’ll see.”

And that’s another feature of the modern acquisition of “knowledge”: amnesia about details.

The viewer can’t recall key features of what he saw. Or if he can, he can’t describe them, because he was inside them, busy building up his impression of knowing something.

Narrative-visual-television story strips out and discards conceptual analysis.

When a technology (television) turns into a method of perception, reality is turned inside out. People watch TV through TV eyes.

Mind control is no longer something only imposed from the outside. It is a matrix of a self-feeding, self-demanding loop.

Willing Devotees of the Image WANT images, food stamps of the programmed society.

The false pandemic I’ve been rejecting, in many articles, is delivered through video flow and narration. Stacked and cut images.

There is no television challenge to the television flow, through the intrusion of actual knowledge, because that would shut down the parade of images and nullify the reasons for broadcasting them in the first place.

The old theater adage, “the show must go on,” when adapted for television, becomes, “the flow must go on.” Once its course is set, there can be no turning back.

But individuals can shred the flow.

And groups of protestors can shred the flow.

And freedom breaks out.

SARS 2003: Fraud, And The Credibility of the World Health Organization

[Written by Jon Rappoport. Reprinted with permission. Original post:
blog.nomorefakenews.com To learn more about Jon and his 30+ years of free-lance investigative reporting, please visit: nomorefakenews.com]

History matters.

If the World Health Organization (WHO) deceived the world into fear and panic THEN, in 2003, why should you believe them NOW re COVID, when both instances involve epidemics?

As some readers will recall, in 2003 the World Health Organization (WHO) put out a travel advisory—don’t go to Toronto. Toronto was “infected” with epidemic SARS. The loss of tourist income was significant. At the time, I was in touch with a Canadian activist who was trying to assemble a group of Toronto merchants and file a law suit against WHO for a few billion dollars, but it fell apart.

Continue reading SARS 2003: Fraud, And The Credibility of the World Health Organization

Daily Bread Hall of Fame

If you’re a non-subscriber/casual visitor to the BonerFruit site, you’d likely know that Daily Bread comes and goes quickly. Hare today, goon tomorrow. But since I can’t stop laughing uncontrollably every time I click on the following snippet, the decision to enter this into a permanent Ramblings post feels like a no-brainer.*

(*Administrator’s Note: the term “no-brainer” is not suggestive of a functioning brain ever having contributed to the writings on this site)

Credit to A. Ciupka for sharing this one day in a random text.

So here it is, forever, or until Jesus or the medical dictatorship decide my power on Earth has come to an end…

To The Survivors — Guest Post, Robert Uttaro

[Please Welcome Robert Uttaro to the BonerFruit Blog. His message is an important one that needs sharing. You will find Robert’s full bio and contact information at the end of the post]

Greetings friends,

My work as a rape crisis counselor has been the most fulfilling aspect of my life. As hard as it can be to read or say the word “rape,” I would ask you to take some time and attempt to think of what someone who has experienced that crime might think and feel. How has the sexual violation affected their body, mind, heart, and soul?

Some people question how and why I even do this work, because they tend to perceive it as depressing and heavy. Certainly it can feel burdensome, but this work has been inspiring and humbling, as people open up to me about their deepest and darkest pain. Sexual violence in its many forms is deeply destructive, but does not have to control or destroy lives.

Continue reading To The Survivors — Guest Post, Robert Uttaro

Heroes, Shmeroes

It’s amazing how easily constant repetition conditions our herd (aka society) to accept whatever narrative the puppet masters of this planet decide to be “truth.” The media dictates that if someone wears a badge, stethoscope, or elongated hard-hat, they should forever be lauded as “heroes,” no questions asked. I’m not exactly sure what’s “above-and-beyond” about handing out a thousand-dollar fine to someone sitting on the beach reading a book, or why hiding in an unmarked pick-up truck on the side of the road to hand out speeding tickets is superhuman, but I guess I’ve always been a little confused about what society deems to be normal.

Continue reading Heroes, Shmeroes