Write Here, Write Now. Oh Wait, Did I Burn That Wittiness Already?

Dumblittleman was a useful venue to explore the world of guest blogging, but after reading more of their articles, including straight-up ads written by corporate shills under the guise of blog-posts, and after their brutally inept editing of my own piece, I decided to find new stomping grounds to whore myself to. My 20-20 hindsight glasses never require a new prescription.

The situation worked out perfectly, as always, because I wrote new piece after new piece with frenzied inspiration, in order to test the waters of who had the balls to allow me an uncensored forum to share my stupidity.

After one slow-coming rejection email, and several unacknowledgments (is that even a word?), some from websites I should have realized were defunct, I received a note recently from a self-help blog interested in supporting my nonsense.

Though I hate getting my ego involved (no I don’t), hearing the words “you’re like a breath of fresh air, your articles are always welcome here,” was a definite perk to my day.

The best part is that each new essay I put together never gets constructed with compromise in mind. Basically, if websites declaring “Write for us!” aren’t interested in my shit, I have no fuck to give to modify a single word, being left with an abundance of material to share within my own pet project.

I also realize I have no limit to the amount of material I can produce. Doubling up writings, one for my site, one for another, fostered my greatest productivity to date — while still contributing to the kick-ass new book I have on the go.

Speaking of that work in progress, let’s just say, holy fuck, it’s so far beyond stupid I can’t wait to allow Amazon the chance to fuck me over on royalties yet again…

I’ve intentionally denied myself the fun of designing the new book cover and layout thus far, to keep me focussed on finishing the last few chapters, but I’m excited about this collection of madness — even if no-one buys a single damn copy. That’s what passion is about!

I’ll send out links to the new articles being posted on guest-sites as they appear, but I just wanted to do a non-Adventure Blog post to take a break from the 10,000 other thoughts begging to be typed into my trusty laptop.

Pointless side note: I’m not a big fan of corporate loyalty, but Apple makes a pretty kick-ass product. My 20-year-old Mac-tower was enough to convince me of that. I’m happy and grateful I invested the extra bucks and physical energy to lug this machine around with me in Central America (though the MacBook Air is probably the lightest and slimmest machine available in the marketplace right now — insert potential for big business kick-backs here).

That’s all for now. Just some rambling I felt like sharing.

The day is young, and I should probably get away from my introverted nature to make contact with humanity for a bit.

There’s got to be a refried black-bean vendor down the street somewhere here that has “Miguel” penciled on the side of a styrofoam take-out cup.

I’ll let you know what I find…

P.S.
Some new stuff just got posted, check it out if you find yourself bored with Android Scrabble…

https://theselfimprovementblog.com/self-improvement/featured/6-ways-to-set-the-bar-a-little-lower/

Later!

5 Reasons to Facilitate the Curbing of Giving a Fuck

(The is the unedited essay as it should have appeared on dumblittleman.com)

Pretentious title, but far from a call to adopt a stance of apathy within this wondrous and dynamic reality we exist together in.

Fuck no, quite the opposite.

The insight I’d like to share with you today is the equivalent of an open-handed, movie-cliche slap to the face, regretfully but lovingly administered to pull a panicked comrade back from the brink of a full-blown meltdown catalyzed by a collapse of rational, critical thinking.

Continue reading 5 Reasons to Facilitate the Curbing of Giving a Fuck

Dumb Little Mike

In the spirit of whoring myself out to the public for blog notoriety and book sales, I recently wrote a post that was accepted and published by a trendy, self-help website.

The only problem is they left my primo material on the cutting room floor.

Well, that’s not entirely true, but the edits they made, to remove my “colourful” language, twisted a few of the lines into ineffectual, impotent, or just plain confusing blather that was not representative of my well-crafted genius. (throw a note about my modesty in there somewhere, too)

If they had simply communicated a non-profanity policy on their site, or gave me the chance to edit the piece myself after discussing the matter, I could easily have accommodated. But that wasn’t the case. In fairness, they did have a disclaimer about making edits without approval from the writer, but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have been given the opportunity tweak my intellectual property, especially when my name is forever attached to it.

Foul language is not a necessity in my literary explorations, I just happen to really fucking enjoy it. There are many posts here that do not contain “subversive” language. Look hard enough, you’ll find ’em…

I did not come across any legal mumbo-jumbo on their site forbidding the reprinting of the piece on BonerFruit, so somewhere down the road, I’ll repost it in full-glory, proper imagery and all.

I fucking hate censorship. Especially when my “douchebag” and “dickweed” references are essential parts of a message…

Well, maybe not essential, but a lot of fucking fun.

BonerFruit will find the right venue for guest posting somewhere down the road, but for now, we’ll continue our explorations here without worrying what the “man” has to say about it.

El Mirador Volume 3 is coming up soon. Right now, I’m enjoying a little book-writing time in Palenque, Mexico, and planning transportation back to the ocean — a bus to Playa del Carmel, and then a connection to a little fishing village, Puerto Morelos, in hopes of avoiding the hardcore touristy areas while I soak my body in salty water.

The new book is still lacking a few chapters, but is by far the most ambitious and fucked up work I’ve produced to date.

I did get some reader feedback from early-released chapters, so let me share those with you now…

Did I mention my love of whorish self-promotion? Oh yeah, right…

Recently Reviewed…

ORIGINAL SIN
A Creative Guide to Living and Dying

“Enlightening, entertaining, educational, and outraging — this
book has it all. I’d recommend it to all my friends, but the artwork
makes me wanna puke.”
— M. Ciupka, Fingerpainter

“I hated this guy’s first two books, but now I just hate myself for
buying the third one.”
— M. Ciupka, Sucker for Amazon Deals

“My wife slowed down to get a closer look at an accident on the
highway, and I thought to myself: I wish I was in that stretcher
instead of reading Original Sin.”
— M. Ciupka, Divorced

“Reading Original Sin has made me envious of the blind.”
— M. Ciupka, Stevie Wonder Wannabe

“When I think of originality, I think of Mozart. When I think of
Original Sin, I think cutting my wrists.”
— M. Ciupka, Impressionable Reader

“The perfect stocking stuffer! Especially if your socks are destined
for the landfill.”
— M. Ciupka, Holiday Enthusiast

“If you liked Conversations with God, you won’t like this.”
—Neil Diamond Walsh

“There’s a reason I created Hell — so you would know repercussions of bad decisions, like purchasing this book.”
—God

“I tried to read it, but it was too big.”
—L. Skywalker

“Read or do not read. There is no try.”
—Yoda

“I like this kid, he’s good. Buy his new book. I would never lead you
astray.”
— Satan

“The shallow depth is ever near,
As lightning darkens sound,
Metal shakes the rusted smile,
A petal soft and round.”
— Nostradamus, Incomprehensible Nut-job

It Wasn’t Meant to Bumble, It Was Meant to Bee

It’s a bit crummy outside, so let’s take a brief intermission from adventure to talk tales of destiny and fate.

The concept of having your entire life predetermined by a higher entity never made much sense to me. If existence were fated, there’d be no purpose in playing this game. Decision making would be the pointless exercise of imagining irrelevant details to add a touch of a colour to a completed tome carved in stone.

People love commenting on the intentions of the Universe. When outcomes match expectation, results are clearly “meant to be.” When objectives end in failure, consolations of “it wasn’t meant to be” help ease the pain.

Both sentiments are worthless. We only consider them after events have transpired, in full witness of the existential results. Hindsight will always make the distinction between what was or wasn’t “meant” to be — it either happened or it didn’t. The technique is oft used by people to disconnect failure or absolve personal responsibility — a slightly different take on the equally worthless “it is what it is” statement. Yeah, no shit, what else could it be?

Continue reading It Wasn’t Meant to Bumble, It Was Meant to Bee

Don’t Forget the Butter!

Just a quick shout out to new and old subscribers — Daily Bread has always been served with a side of butter. Click on the image you receive in your inbox, or click on the button at the Bonerfruit site. It won’t guarantee a more palatable meal, but it’s done wonders to ease queasiness after digesting some of the baking done here.

Janus Opens the Door…

If you’re big on the Gregorian calendar, you’re probably aware another new year is almost upon us. This is typically a time when people take pause to consider making changes in their lives, like quitting smoking, eating healthier, dropping a few pounds, or giving up German shizer films. Why these things can’t be accomplished any other time of year, I’m unsure, but I suppose the mark of a new beginning brings with it new inspiration, no matter how short-lived the stirrings often turn out to be.

Instead of focusing on the changes we need to make in our lives, highlighting our weaknesses and shortcomings, perhaps this time would be better spent reflecting just how far we’ve come the last 365. Though the years may seem to start blurring together and racing by the older we get, I’m fairly sure each and every one of us can pick out several accomplishments in recent past to be proud of. It’s definitely more encouraging to give ourselves a pat on the back for the minor victories we’ve claimed than begin a new calendar date imposing the guilt and pressures of a rigid lifestyle ruleset we’re probably ill-equipped for.

Continue reading Janus Opens the Door…

Hey, relax guy! Take a rest! Trust me!

The Earth is pretty wild place. Even on the most mundane of adventures, say a trip to the corner store, there’s a good chance you’ll come across a scenario rife with outlandish, freaky, or unexpected twists.

Consider the novelty in this world. Think of all the strange and wonderful things you’ve seen and done since your first sip of mother’s milk. Consider all the projects still on your to-do list, and all the imagined situations you’ll likely never get to experience first-hand because, well, there just ain’t enough time in the day. While you’re at it, add to your considerations the things you haven’t even heard about – the wonders that have never blipped on your radar because they exist beyond the fringe of the Associated Press app on your smartphone.

There’s one hell of an experiential buffet out there to feast from.

Continue reading Hey, relax guy! Take a rest! Trust me!