Still Kickin’, Bitches

Alright, here’s the deal…

I’m not dead, I didn’t drink myself into oblivion, I didn’t OD on the latest batch of designer meth my dealer provided me, and I definitely didn’t decide to quit writing Daily Breads or blog posts due to laziness or boredom or due to hating 97.8 percent of the stupid motherfuckers wandering around on Planet Stupid.

I just got busy.

Not doing what I love to do, but babysitting madness, ‘cuz who the fuck else was gonna do it?

Lemme mansplain for you…

In a very succinct fashion…

The fucking idiot head chef quit. Or went on mental psychosis leave, or whatever his bullshit excuse was.

Also, the fucking idiot lazy immigrant cunt who got married and was supposed to return after her curry soaked honeymoon quit as well. Yeah, didn’t see that shit coming (insert wildly sarcastic emoticon here)…

So after the one time I’ve ever, EVER, booked a week off from my faggoty slave job, to attend my kid’s wedding in Winnipeg, I returned to chaos. Maybe bedlam’s a better word, I will consult my thesaurus.

Apparently now I was the go-to schmuck to keep this shit-show kitchen running, missing 2 full time employees.

So what were my options?

Same as always… make a choice and honour a decision. No one put a gun to my head to say yes to this…

70-hour work weeks suck ass. Zero days of in 5 weeks sucks mega-balls. Sleeping on bed sheets covered in a thin dust of ash that settles from the air after your kitty goes nuts kicking shit from his litter box is unpleasant. Basic life maintenance is put on hold when there aren’t enough hours in a day to do the work of 3 people.

But secretly I kinda love this shit, even at the expense of the sacrificing the things I love more, like writing, fiberglassing, and telling people to go fuck themselves.

I don’t want a fucking job. I never wanted a fucking job.

But I’m gonna play with this for a bit. I kinda like the title of Executive Chef, despite having no scholastic qualifications, or the actual title yet.

I fucking rock at what I do.

Always have, always will.

I should get some sleep.

Daily Bread resuming shortly. I just hired a Mexican national with a great sense of humour to help share the load. If you notice an upcoming joke trend about burritos or local prostitutes, just roll with it, shit will work out the way it always does.

Peace, fags.