3 Full Days ’til a Scolding? I Must Be Losing My Edge…

Ya gotta love the boneheaded automation of all the asinine algorithms governing every single fucking move we make interacting with digital 1’s and 0’s.

In the not too distant future, the last of our “live” customer service centres, all located in India of course, will join the ranks of the shunned and forgotten — the good ol’ fax-machine, the public pay-phone, cassette tapes, landlines, pagers, the dodo, shit like that — and slip into obscurity, unceremoniously replaced by textbots, automated prompts, chatGPT bullshit, conversational AI programs, and whatever the fuck other tech exists to facilitate the final excision of the minimum-wage-earning-flunky still fighting for scraps on Planet YerFucked.

The algorithms exist of course to control, manipulate, influence, gate-keep, censor, and all the other fun shit predicted decades ago in the “fictitious” writings of Huxley, Orwell, and the like.

The sad part is, no one really seems to give a shit. Apathy is at an all-time high, and independent thought an all-time low. Critical thinking is deader than fucking dead, and the telescreen, in all its variations, has a death grip on Western society’s last remaining brain cells.

Yet again, creative innovation and advancements in tech — all imagined into being to facilitate a less arduous, less stressful, more carefree human experience — have made people lazier, stupider, and increasingly ignorant. Throw in fatter as well.

But I’m getting waaaay off topic here, sorry. The rant here today has nothing to do with trying to awaken braindead zombies from their chosen paths of following fellow media-inspired lemmings over the cliff. What I actually wanna share is rather amusing, and I still haven’t the slightest fucking clue what to make of this shit, so any ideas would be appreciated…

3 days ago I set up a simple portfolio on FacefuckBook to start strumming up some traffic to my revitalized mural painting biz, when I got this notification:

Huh? What the fuck, censored already?? Lmao. What the fuck did I do this time? Pretty sure I kept this page clean and professional, what gives?

And then I see this…

Uhhhh….. what?

Again…. what???

What the fuck am I missing here?

Apparently, according to the Facebook algorithm, a painting of a bulldog sticking his head out a car window is in violation of the Terms, Policies, and Conditions keeping the Facebook public safe from Hitler, Satan, and all things unholy.

My only appeal is, of course, to the algorithm — asking it kindly to reconsider its decision to censor me from Fagbook users.

Its response? A recommendation to be patient for 4 days, while it ponders my petition for leniency.

With my hands tied, I only have one proactive move left to further my status on Facefuckbook… I will edit my image to seem less aggressive or monstrous or evil, or whatever reason the algorithm thinks bulldogs are terrifying, and unfit for public consumption.

I won’t go so far as to remove the image, but if I alter it to add human interaction, demonstrating the animal is kid-safe and friendly, Facebook will have no choice but to let me out of Algorithm Jail.

This oughta do it…